just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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