What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
