ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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