She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
