I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
