I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
