i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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