Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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