alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
