I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
