Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
