I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
