Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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