Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
