Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
