apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
