im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize