I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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