Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
