I want to stick my p in your. b.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
