I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Alive.
So much puke
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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