drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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