i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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