opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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