Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
