ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
