I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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