Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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