This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love you. Go after that dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize