it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize