Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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