Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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