six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
