he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
