I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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