Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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