shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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