Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
