Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
