so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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