what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
