Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
