i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize