You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
