oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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