You just made me feel so damn special
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
