Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
