if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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