the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
