I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
