So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
