She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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