She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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