Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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