he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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