i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
