Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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