i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize