it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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