sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am puke
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
