Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
