I could make wine with my vomit
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
