we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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