I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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