i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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