redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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