Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
