he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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